stolethename | LETTERS TO (11-15):

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Verse: Canon (Post CoE)

Dear Ianto,

Thank you. I don't think I could properly express what you mean to me exactly, and I'm not sure even in my old age that I know. There's much of me that wishes you hadn't followed me, that you didn't say that. I wish you didn't love me. This happens to everyone that does. Why did you follow me there? I should have done it on my own. It's all my fault like everything is. You could be with your family, at home, happy. Like you are supposed to be. You died so young. I could have protected you. I should have protected you. That was my job.

You taught me a lot of things. More than I learned in a lot of time. You've saved me more than once. I wish I could have saved you, Ianto. I wish I didn't keep so many things from you in the end. You deserved to know. Just a little bit.

I should have asked more questions about you.

I'm sorry.

- Jack

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to (x2)
Verse: Any

Dear Steven,

There's so much I can say to you, but I don't know if you'll ever fully understand exactly what I'm saying to you. You are everything to me. You trusted me, and then I hurt you more than I hurt anyone else I've ever known. There are a lot of things I want to tell you, though. There's so much I wanted to tell you but your mum didn't want me to, and with good reason. I mean, it makes a lot of sense. But you're old enough to understand it. Old enough to know why you and your mum mean so much to me.

I'm an old man, Steven. She is my daughter, and that makes you my grandson. I won't ever change, and I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this. I think you had a right to know back then, and always. I mean, you're smart,and you maybe had figured it out. At least in a couple years.

You trusted me, I failed you. And now I know why she wanted me to not be a part of your life. I love you more than anything, Steven.

- Uncle Jack

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Verse: Any

Dear Gray,

I hurt you, I know that. But...I don't think what you did makes it right. No, you got my friends killed, you set out to destroy everything and things I cared about. What you did is not forgivable. Even worse than what I did.

- Me

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Verse: Any

Dear Alice,

I understand if you never want to speak with me again.

- Dad

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Verse: TFC|Not the current time - probably during Torchwood Canon

Dear Helen,

It's been years since we've talked - or maybe it feels like it. I really miss you. It's weird how slow time moves, even when you've lived for so long. Things seem to be going well, at least here. At least as well as it can be. How have things gone for you, lately? I don't know, it's so much harder to say things in letters than it is to in person.

I think we should meet for tea sometime. I'll be drinking coffee, though. I've been busy, and only can imagine you have been, too. You know where I am.

-Jack

Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Verse: Any; to himself

Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a coward again. A life where I was afraid, but still happy. One where death meant something to me.